I started this blog on January 12, 2012. Mostly because I had a need to connect with others who wouldn't judge my son's quirky behavior. I've encountered many to look at him cross-eyed, look annoyed at him, just stare as in saying, 'this kid is strange', people saying within earshot how obnoxious he is. I will give you details at a later date of bad and good experiences I've shared with my son Jordan. And I knew that there were many out there who also wanted to take their child to a place where he/she could be him/herself---without mom or dad saying 'don't do that', or, 'you're too loud', etc. Yes I was that parent and still am but much fewer times.
It's hard for me to talk about Jordan because I don't know many of you who check out this blog. Yet, I've known you since my son was born. Together, you and I, even if your child is not autistic, we are cut from the same cloth. That will never change and no one can take that away from us. So I now share, hesitantly yet willingly, to tell you what's in my heart. This is my journey that the Lord Himself put me in. By the way, I do have a husband, Jordan's dad, and a typical younger son, Ryan. But I don't mention them too often. Absolutely not because they are not important. But this is just between you and me. I want us to share our viewpoints of what we go through day to day--the great times and sad times.
Jordan was born on January 13th. And this January, 2012, he turned 13. That is a very bitter/sweet event in itself. Honestly, I thought by now that God would have healed him completely. By now I would have had a typical son who could carry on reasonable conversations. My boy would be attending a typical class. My son would be working towards a high school diploma and not a certificate. I could look forward to my son going to college, landing a great job, and having a wife and children. Right now, that's not possible. Maybe you don't feel this way but I desperately want the American dream. For many years, having an autistic son was a pure nightmare. I'm different now. I don't feel that extreme anymore. However, I do still get sad when I see my beautiful son act differently.
Yet, when he accomplishes the most minor things, it is a time to rejoice, call all my friends and brag, cry tears of gratefulness, and (I never thought I would admit this) thank God for this opportunity to raise a son like Jordan. I do take time to smell the roses. I don't overlook minor details anymore. In fact, I look for the minor details in my son. Any little thing he can do today and just yesterday he couldn't, is reason for me to smile and feel proud of my son. The Lord has forced me to stop being judgemental in many aspects of others' lives. He has terribly humbled me. Oh, boy, the stories I've got that I can laugh at now but I wanted to drop dead of embarrassment then!
Jordan is so happy all the time! It is rare when he's not smiling or giggling hysterically. Many times, I have no idea what's so funny! Sometimes he's able to tell me. Most of the time, he doesn't.
I'm going to stop right here. It's late and I need to wake up early today. Next time I write to you about personal things in my life, I'll have it more organized. And if you allow me to share with you how it was for me from the very beginning, I will do that too.
Please, though, ahead of time, I ask you not be insulted by my boldness on how I describe my TRUE feelings. I am an upfront person. I wear my feelings on my sleeves. And maybe, just maybe, you have thought and are thinking the things I boldly write on this blog, but were afraid to admit it. You and I have a lot in common.
I thank you, my new friend. Please, follow up on my blog.
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